I'm neither sad nor happy.
Experience just kills some people, doesn't it? But that doesn't mean that you have to put walls around and hurt all those around you. I know what happened in the past might just make or break someone, and that's why i have never stayed with the past. I try not to regret things.. or should i say i don't regret some of the things that had happened in my life. It's not like i can turn back the time, rite?
I'm bein emo here.
I'm confused with what's happening in my life right now actually. I wanna cry so damn badly but the tears just wouldn't want to co-operate! *shucks* Maybe cos i've grown? And i feel that it's not worth crying over?
I so need some shoulders to cry on.. that is, if my tears wanna flowla.. and i need some ears to listen to my words, but somehow i can't arrange my words to form proper sentences, proper storyline.
Everything just doesn't make sense now.
*currently listening to Hana, trying to figure things out*
Decisions, decisions.. who likes making them anyways?
Of course i want to have plans for my future. Plans that involve those that i want to involve them in. But then, yeah, i guess things don't always turn out the way you want them. No matter how hard you try, no matter how easily it flowed with you the first few moments..
I felt like being stabbed with a knife. No, wait, it didn't hurt that much actually. Maybe because i'm not allowing it to hurt that much. But i really wonder i can stand this. How can i just block my sadness for appearing on the surface.
Instead of waiting for a miracle, i want to hold your hand
Somehow i feel i'll just fall and crumble like a cookie one day. And i don't want that to happen.
I know you're scared, but i'm scared too.
Anyways, tomorrow's mom's 47th birthday. And i just want to be happy.