The 26th Year

It's been two days since I turned 26.

And I would do anything for it to turn out differently than it did.

Birthday eve was spent at work and I only managed to get home at around 11.30 pm. Ate dinner and started having headaches. Must have been because I haven't been shielding myself properly from the rain the few days before.

Popped some paracetamol, took a light shower and slept.

Woke up at 4 am to finish my task, sent an e-mail at 5 am and slept like a dead log.

Woke up a few times feeling groggy, but after seeing an SMS from my supervisor I properly woke up and called him.

"Baru bangun tidur ke (Did you just wake up?)" was the first sentence he said.

I replied a lazy "Yes" and we discussed work for a while. I didn't go to work although I planned to, it was my off day anyways. And it was too late to go.

Read my birthday wishes, replied some. Headache was getting bad, so paracetamol it was.

I wish I didn't have to go out of the house that day.

But I did, at my own free will.

Because I wanted to be there for a friend who was, and is going through tough times right now after losing his loved one - his mom.

I told myself not to cry, after all he told me not to be there as it was my birthday. But of course, how can I celebrate? I would rather be there than anywhere else that day.

His eulogy to his mom awed me. The first few sentences broke my heart:

"Wow.. it feels like a nightmare, which I would never wake up from"

He managed to speak calmly, albeit trembling at some parts, especially when he reminisced about the past with his mom.

I was awed, because if it was me standing at the same spot, I would be crying my heart out.

I think the saddest moment for me was seeing him crying on his knees when his mom was brought into the room to be cremated.

Seeing him like that for the first time.. it wasn't shocking. It broke my heart.

I'm so sorry for his loss and I hope he will be able to go through these tough times..

I'm positive that he will, judging from the way he takes care of almost everything during the funeral, and I am sure that he will take good care of his sister and his father.

But still..

I'm dumbfounded by this.