Saturday, August 04, 2007

Emo alert

Relationships tend to make girls more emotional(or emo to make it sound more er.. tragic)

Yuen stated this and Yng Jiun said aye. And i agree to this statement as well.

Although i am still NOT in a relationship whatsoever with him.

Some of my friends wondered why aren't we still together, others just told me to enjoy my time with him. While a few gave me valuable advices, advices which had me thinking very, very hard.

Falling for him came out as an expected event for me because earlier before, i was having feelings for someone else for almost 2 semesters. And i'm still surprised at how he managed to make me want more attention from him.

I've been having a lot of emo issues lately, which involve him. At first i blamed my childishness, then i blamed PMS..

Small matters irked me out most of the time and he was slapped with a punishment: my mood will end up getting bad, and my SMS-es will sound unhappy (read: short answers with dots at all the right places) and when he calls(he usually calls after receiving a msg that i'm in a 'unhappy' mood), i wouldn't know what to answer when he ask why i'm in a bad mood and i'd usually keep quiet.

It's not that i don't want to smash him and bash him with my words or anything, but since we are at the there but not there status, i'm having a hard time trying to tell him my exact feelings because i always feel that i have no rights whatsoever to be angry with him.

Just because i'm not carrying the girlfriend status.

Like Yuen, i am also 'high mantainence in terms of attention'.

I hate it when he doesn't give me enough attention. Feels so... so.. i don't know what's the word.


But then again, i'm not the girlfriend. So i can't ask much.

I so need some guidance right now. Motherly and sisterly and friendly advices are really welcomed.

I can't even think straight. I hate crying for no reason. I hate being angry at him because of small matters. I hate the fact that i have to talk seriously with him one day and it may end up bad. I'm in a HUGE dilemma. I've never been in this position before. Me feelings are all hay-wired. I have a headache currently.

To YOU, i don't like being there but not there.
It's either there or not there.


I hate being all emo.

1 comment:

  1. elo elo... from MY experience, you're feeling like this because one way or another, conciously or unconciously, you have made him your life.

    It's as though everything is about him; the only thing you look forward to is him, when you go to sleep, all you think about it him, when you pick up your phone, you only think of calling him...

    stuff like that

    Try focusing more on your own life instead... your friends... TV shows... trying out new food... assignments... just like how it was before you met him. You should feel LESS lonely and attention deprived and more balance.

    For me, I try not to make HER my life but PART of my life. I still have my agendas and she's part of it, not IT.



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