The end of ME

I'm sweating profusely. My heart is thumping, trying to get out of my chest. Butterflies are flapping around in my stomach, and it hurts. I think i'm gonna vomit anytime soon. This is a moment of panic. Yes, WeeN is officially panicking. In about less than 48 hours, my STPM results will be available in school. Waiting to be collected by its not-so-lucky owner.
I'm a nervous wreck. I'd even cried. I started freaking out after the SPM results came out. Not like it's my business or something, but seeing and hearing people do well just bang me on the head.
What if i screw up? What if i did horribly? What if my results disappoint? I had a dream about it too last evening.. Straight Bs. By jolly god, i was bawling my eyes out in the dream. I was so disappointed. Major disappointment.
The dream is slowly affecting me now. I'm a lil scared. I don't want to disappoint my parents. They would be crushed if i do badly. Although Navia told me not to worry cos it's too late and miracle can happen.. i can't help but worry more.
No amount of Orange Range can ease my heart. I'm listening to their songs and yet my mind is flying off to this one little slip of paper which will have my results printed on it. Geez. This is crazy. Damn crazy. I am going crazy.
Since i have to work on that fateful day, and moreover the store will be having stock take (of all the days!), i'm thinking of the perfect time to go and get it. Actually, i have no plans whatsoever to go and get it. My mom suggested that my dad go and get it for me. Good idea. It might shock him, but i would rather have him go take it and throw it inside a room and lock the room, throwing away the keys, without letting me know the contents. I'm sure it'll work better that way. Oh, yes it will.

By the way, Orange Range will be releasing a magazine full of interviews, photos etc from their indies (kiddies?) years till.. erm.. sort of nowla. Titled BLOOD RANGE (!!!), it will be released in Japan on the 28th of March 2006 but my sis thinks that it's quite impossible for it to be released on the same date in Malaysia. Since i don't have to work on that day, i'll be hopping to Kinokuniya in KLCC to place my order (hopefully, i'll get more details by then) and collect my three Oricon Style mags which i ordered (and hopefully, the publisher still have them) last month. I don't know how much it's gonna cost me but to hell, I'm excited. But not SO excited. But still.. there is hope as i listen to Hana.

Hana wa nande, kareru no darou?
Tori wa nande, toberu no darou?
Kaze wa nande, fuku no darou?
Suki wa nande akariterasu no?